Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
