so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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