3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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