i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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