I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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