Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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