Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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