I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
