so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
