Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize