i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
