i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
