I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
