if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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