I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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