I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
