i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
