Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
