he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
