We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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