I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
