You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
