You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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