38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
