One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
