oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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