No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
