I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
