Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
