We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize