I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
