1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
