Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
of course. lets lasso hookers.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
