Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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