The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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