U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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