I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
