ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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