Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
