i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
