hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
