they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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