I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
did i walk over a car last night?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
