If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
