Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
