you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize