Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize