apparently the secret to your success is patron
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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