Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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