I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
