so that wasnt chicken after all
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize