It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
