tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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