Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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