I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
