i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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