Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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