Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
