i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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