i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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