then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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