did you get engaged???
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize