i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
