Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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