people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
