MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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