That's intense
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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