You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
