escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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