I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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