oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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