would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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