do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
