I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
