bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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