I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
