best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
