Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We are all done wearing pants today
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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