I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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