The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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