well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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