if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Don't tell me you're on acid again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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