I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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