Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
